On The Brink Of Insanity

Forced to be torn apart from the star is the worst possible feeling to sweep the Sun, especially when the Sun has grown so affectionate of the star, and just when the Sun has learned to have feelings that make it move from the inside, erupt the volcanoes inside it; Leave it dreaming about the star for nights, every time the sun drifts to slumber, where the dreams are radiated by the star’s never ending energy, beautiful energy.

The Sun marvels at the star’s appearance. Every little detail about it is so striking. The star has a gleam, a deep gleam that comes from the light it possesses. The Sun could stand close to the star all day and take in its light, its luminosity.

If the Sun were human, it would set the surface of the person ablaze. If the Sun were a girl, that girl would be on fire! That girl would have her arms around the star all day, never wanting to let go. The girl would keep the star close, to her heart. The star's radiance makes the heart of the Sun feel blissful tranquility. It’s so close to a feeling left dormant in the Sun, others claim to call it ‘love’. Its not love, it’s a burning passion, a yearning; it’s something words fail for. Its close to feeling of security the star gives the Sun, but it has more meaning. But, we have a long way to discover what that feeling truly is.

Right now, the Sun is practically losing its mind, trying to figure out ways for the star to accept the graceful vigor it possesses. Every time the Sun praises it, the star refuses. How can a being so near to perfection, not realize what it does to others? Why can’t a beautiful creation like the star, learn to love what it has, that exploding aura of vibrant colours?

That aura does many things to the Sun, and the Sun wants to keep this in the star’s knowledge, so it never stops shining. The light of the star is something the sun feeds on, as help, as happiness, as a ray of joy in the Sun's life. The star is being missed very badly right now, and the Sun wants nothing else than to be held by the star, to be caressed by the warm beams of light it gives off. The Sun seeks comfort in the star. Soon, the Sun will feel it, unleash the feelings it has bound in itself for days. That day would be amazing, when the star will finally shine its light upon the Sun. . . .

Lost In The Universe

After two years of intense struggle, the Sun has finally been able to let lose the abundant energy it possessed. Like it said before, the Sun has never burned so bright! The Sun feels life again! It always wants to be near its star’s radiance and heat that fills the hollow spaces within the Sun.

Little does the Sun’s wonderful star know that it is vacant from the inside, where it gives off light to others but owns none itself.

There are no penetrating reactions going on inside the Sun’s core. It breathes on the light that its star provides to it. The star is the only thing keeping it together, the reason the Sun does not want to end itself, to extinguish itself!

Every time the Sun is reminded of its presence, the surface ignites and flames rupture, blazing with ferocity! The Sun feels full of life for the brief moments it relishes with the star! It finds it difficult to express to the star how much it means to it. It wants the star to know that everyday, a few, precious moments with it is the only time the Sun beams!

Still Human: Butterflies. Bursting volcanoes. Words fail when it comes to describing my state of kind as I talk endlessly with him! My heart doesn’t skip a beat, it hurdles! For once, my eyes have some sort of depth in them, they have joy and vibrancy! For once, my laughter is not void. My eroded inner is patched up! Talking to him gives me hopefulness and responsibility, responsibility to not end myself. I have something to live for. You!

I weep in your longing as I remind myself of the barriers that part us! People around me deem it a crime for me to enjoy myself. For once, I want to live for myself. I want to satisfy myself! And being with you does exactly that!

It’s a miracle! A beautiful miracle that you accepted me since I am so inert from within, something you have yet to experience. The only time I do feel vitality conquering me is when I’m talking to you, I don’t want it to stop! If I meet you, I’d want to stop time right there! Those few moments would be the one’s I’d enjoy for myself. Your presence moves mountains within me, you shake me to my core, and you touch my soul and breathe life into it.

I wish I could do more for you, like you do for me. These days are the worst, since I have fallen ill and I can’t talk to you.

The Sun: These days, the Sun is fading.

Girl On Fire!

Yesterday, the Sun had to embark on the hardest mission of it's life. That mission being to confess my disclosed feelings to my star.
How did i do it?
It was hard, it felt impossible, but i managed.
The evening was subtle, it wasn't raining, and i was on the computer like an owl, talking to my star endlessly, carrying out our nonsensical and hilarious discussions. And then, something stirred inside me. I re read our conversation from the start and noticed how much i grew fond of him, and would not like to miss the chance to lose him. That school girl crush was slowly turning into something more, something deep. It was like the molten inside me began to shoot up instantly, asking me to open myself, or else I'll regret it my whole life!
I had hinted to him before about my feelings to my star, only not referring to it and some other imaginary soul instead. But, that was growing frustrating. I wanted him to know it's him! I was eager to know if he likes me back!
So i mustered up the courage to tell him. I was hesitant. Another friend of mine who knew about my feelings kept insisting to reveal them to him. It was absurd, the idea. But, then, it wouldn't hurt to try.
My star is the kind of person who is excessively considerate and equally loving, and wouldn't hurt my feelings. I'd trust him with that!
Besides, we were having a friendly conversation and i thought he wouldn't even bother to ponder over what i have just said.
But he did, and that moment was when my anxiety was accelerating fast. I swallowed half a bar of a huge Dairy Milk bar just to calm myself. I fell on the couch, laughing like an idiot. I stuffed my face in the pillow and tried to think straight, he probably thinks I'm mad, and irrational! But i yearned for him. He is one in a million, trillion of all the bright stars that light up the night sky. he is that shooting star i once saw. I had gazed upon it for so long, sinking into it's wonder! I wondered whether i would be able to hold one, or at least see one more closer.
And i did.
I met him.
My shooting star, illuminating all corners of my life.
And here i am right now, curing my restless soul by listening to love songs. They fill my mind with radiant views of me and my star, laughing, smiling, holding hands, sharing beautiful energy. If he was next to me right now, i would want to melt into his arms, and never let go. I'd want to give all my energy to him, feel his warmth. Just like he shared it, in that vivid dream. i still feel your heat, it ignites my surface.
You set me on fire.

Questions for YOU!

Do you miss me?

Do you dream about me?

Do I make you happy?

Do you want to be more than friends?

Does it pain you when we can't talk?

Do I bore you?

Do you think we are perfect together?

Do I like okay?

Do I make you smile?

Do you have any idea what you do to me?

Do you love me?

Let Your Light Come In

There hit goes again, setting my day on fire with the way it speaks. He doesn’t realize it, but its existence brings sunshine to the tornado within me. With my star, it’s always rainbows and butterflies, nothing seems miserable or dismal. My star manages to eradicate all pessimism within me, I love him for that.

My star is also honest. It speaks the truth about what it feels, and therefore its rays are so pure. When they strike through me, I sense all kinds of splendor and clarity, it’s magical!

I have grown so affectionate of it that it ventured into my dreams last night. When it was raining hard and the clouds thundered with maximum aggressiveness, my star irradiated my dreams, making them so sweet I never want to forget it.

The ending is what excites me the most every time I think of the dream. I vividly recall that I was enjoying a ride on a swing. My star was standing a few feet away. Then suddenly, everything blurred like smoke and I was asleep. When I woke, I saw a note from it that said it stole a kiss while I was quiescent in my slumber. Now, whenever I think about it I can’t help but pretend to feel his hotness and vigor striking against the flesh of my lips.

If only, all of it was somatic and existent. 

Songs For My Star ♥

Breakeven- The Script

My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson

Teenage Dream- Katy Perry

Crush- Mandy Moore

Only Hope- Mandy Moore

You- Switchfoot

Parachute- Cheryl Cole

Here Without You- 3 Doors Down

The Reason- Hoobastank

Far Away- Nickelback

Hot- Avril Lavigne

You Make Me Feel- Cobra Starship

Locked Out of Heaven- Bruno Mars

Troublemaker- Olly Murs

Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

Too Close- Alex Clare

Dare You To Move- Switchfoot

The Sun Feels. . .

The Sun has fallen in love! It’s surreal, unreal. It makes me delighted, overjoyed! My daydreams are now completely directed to you and you alone! I think about your touch, your breath, close to me. I imagine your hand slowly coming towards mine and taking it gently. The trace makes me blush, it feels so good! I pretend you pull it closer, pull me closer. You and I are only an inch apart. Our fire is colliding, making beautiful energy that is enlightening all corners of our lives. We laugh, and that adds butterflies in me, they are fluttering rapidly. Do you feel it too?

The next time if we are together, you only a few feet away; I would want run to you and wrap my arms around you and smile, letting you know how your existence makes me feel. I feel happy, treasured. I feel the desire to be pressed into a wall, with no where to go, only you and i. Breathing deeply into each other’s faces. We would shut off the world so no one can judge us.

It would only be you and I, together; with no where to go. I would slowly run my hand across your face, seeing you grin. You would pull me nearer, till everything is blank and your light is all I could see. I would give into that light, sinking in its glow, feeling its warmth go down me. You’d swallow me whole; The Sun would disappear and come out as something bigger, better and brighter! The Sun would come to be with you, the star that keeps it on the surface; the reason the Sun smiles everyday. The reason the Sun has learned to blush, to feel excited, to sense the butterflies deep within!

But the Sun worries too. The things that worry the Sun are denial, treachery and differences. The Sun is frightened if it would be rejected by a star such as you. You are flawless, sometimes words fail for you. The Sun is also afraid of betrayal. What if you share your light with our suns, and I’m left shaded? What if you betray me in time of need, if you refuse to help me? The Sun is also afraid of our differences, what if they come to tear us apart, and a reason for us to separate? What will the Sun do then? Go back to give light to others and die from the inside? The Sun is afraid of not being with you.

But, most importantly, the Sun is afraid to love.

In Your Memory

In your memory, your sweet memory, I sit here all by myself, listening to love songs. The interruptions between us have maddened me and now to let my heart’s desires pour, I calm myself by hearing words of affection from different people.

Talking to you has become a routine, and when that breaks it drives me senseless. I have gone insane just thinking about it; The Sun is lonesome without your company! It has begun to hate the world for tearing us apart for so long. Right now, I’m wondering if you miss me too, the way I am missing you, with all my heart. I question myself of whether you want to talk to me? Do you feel the urge punching and twisting your stomach the way mine is?

Everyday of talking to you has put a smile on my face, it has made me cheerful. Elated. I have been riding the skies on cloud 9 almost every night after talking to you, but tonight, the skies are grey, the clouds are thundering and the rain is pouring hard, drowning my happiness with it. Thinking about you has cooked up a hurricane within me, and I have reached the brink of insanity. If only you could see me right now, I wish you would break and sweep me in your arms.

The Sun’s blaze has been shadowed by a dark day, and it feels miserable. When you orbit next to me, I burn my brightest. The fire erupts from within, and it goes through my veins, lighting up the surface! When you come closer, a bit too close, I burst. The intensity of having you around is too much to handle. I, the Sun, am absorbed, swallowed by your presence. Your distinct, radiant presence.

You are my star, if only you knew that. I want to come closer to you, but if I break from my circle, I’ll lose my way, the way I did before. Another star once called me to it, and I ran to it, leaving behind a feisty trail of fire, but that fire slowly extinguished as I lost my way into the vast galaxy, with no one to guide me; No, not even my star!

But you, you take me places I always wanted to go. You take me to different galaxies, as we dance together, blazing and burning just by being together with each other! We touch various surfaces, we come so close to be one, but that slowly takes me out of my path, and then again, I am torn in two. My incandescence, my fury vanishes.

In your memory, I weep. Why? Only because you make me what I am. You are special, so special because along with shining brightly yourself, you share that light with me, illuminating my dark corners. You make me laugh, and that’s when I’m set on fire. I never want to leave your existence. If only you could read between the lines, what I say to you. If only you understand. And, if you do, just know this. You are my star. Your light keeps me together. It’s only been days since I’ve noticed your presence, but it has vivified me, illuminated me. It has given me life. The Sun has never burned so brighter.